1. You can not heal in the same environment that hurt you.
I know this is so clique and we hear it all of the time but girl let me tell you about walking back into a place that you felt so much broken. Or, entering a relationship again with someone you can not trust. Girl, it is a heaviness of heavy weights that you think you will never be able to lift off of you. It is like a cold that you never get over. The walls start to cave in on you as you try to forget it but you can not because everything is a reminder of what hurt you. Listen, I understand the reality that we can not always pack up and leave the place but I do need you to realize that you need to leave or atleast create a plan because you can not reside in a place that hurts you when you are trying to heal. Get away for at least a few moments so that you can work on the future you, heals you. You will need to have the feeling of new to begin moving and walking in new. A new environment helps you to embrace the new journey that you are on.
2. Watch the company that you keep.
In no way am I saying that you can control who people want to be in your life but I am saying that you have to keep people around you that can uplift you and help you on your healing journey. Because there will be some low times and hard times where you feel that you can not escape. And, you will need people who can remind you of what God’s Word says and speak those scriptures, quotes and affirmations that you have been meditating on to you. We all get to that point. It is important to keep BOMB SQUAD who love God just as much as you to help you when you are down. You do not need any negative Nancies when you are trying to be better and heal. And, you do not need someone who influences you to do things that are not aligned with who God has called you to be. Nope sis, you do not need to be out here encouraged by anything outside of what Jesus would do. Let’s be honest, that just pushes us further away from being focused on God and putting our trust in God that He is our burden bearer. Watch who you keep around you. They are a reflection and you are light sis so they need to illuminate the room when it is good and bad. One helpful strategy is to pull out a piece of paper and list out those people who are a part of your community and list what they bring to your life and why you are grateful for them. This helps big time when you are going through certain situations and you now know who to call on.
3. It is okay to take a day.
Listen when you are processing healing, you need to know that you will need some days to slow down and really feel all the feelings. You will need to process all that you are trying to overcome. It is okay to say no to plans. It is okay to check in with a therapist that day. It is okay to lay in bed and play worship music. It is okay to cry it out and really feel each and every part of the situation. It is okay to take the day to nurture yourself in the way that you need to. And, ALL OF THAT, is okay! You need a day sometimes and do not be afraid to take it.
4. Say no if you can not fully commit.
In life we are busy and we hold many roles and positions in others’ lives and we sometimes get into routine so much that we forget to be there for ourselves. We say yes to everything to help everyone else but never say yes to ourselves needing time. We forget to schedule in the time we need just to sit and process it all. Trust me I have been that person that forgets to process it all and then I am there serving a position and feel really low. Been there done it and it is not a good feeling. There is a time for everything and let me tell you there is a time for just you to process things. Give yourself the time that you need by loving your no so you can say yes to you. You do not always have to be everywhere and in all the things.
5. Only align yourself with people, places and things that better your healing journey.
Consumption is not only meant for the food we eat. Listen we are what we eat for real and that is everything that we take in each and every day. We are what gets into our physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual and environmental health and if we do not take the time to be in tune with what we are allowing in our space we can surely hinder ourselves in our healing journey. Trust me I have been the fixer, the perfectionist, the healer, the filler-in er lol all of the things without being anything to myself. And, in my journey I have learned that for me to get better and heal I need to be aligned with all that God has for me when it comes to me becoming a healed version of myself. I could not play tag with things that hurt me, did not value me, disrespected me or made me feel less than what I actually was. God does not see me that way and I was not going to either. Surround yourself with ONLY things that align with God. You will begin to see God in everything once you change your lens to be aligned with God in each and every area of your life. It is a life changing thing.
Peace & Blessings,