At this point in my life, I am at a crossroads for the woman that I aspire to be. I feel that I am at the end of a long chapter where the little girl who was hurt is now learning to heal and love. She is learning that there is so much more that we have to go through. The test is how we go through it. Will we fight? Will we give up? Will we give it our all?
There was a decision that needed to be made. There was a life in the next chapter. There is so much waiting for me. But in the previous chapter, I would leave behind family, friends, comfortable environments, unbearable pain, unspeakable abuse and a life that I grew into. But that sunflower that grew out of what life gave her would be the light that would bring people back to healing and restoration so that they too could face adversity and become RESILIENT.
There was something God was trying to tell me. He was telling me to be the light and be who He desires for me to be. God reminded me that it would take me to have a true deep change in character and who I was. He was cleansing me inside out and that would change who I was ultimately. The layers of who I was would be left right where I am. The story could not continue with the way I was living.
Every step I took from this moment had to include God. The Word of God had to be my foundation. I had to commit to a lifestyle of God in it. That meant prayer, fasting, and spending time with the Father. That meant every breath in my body serves the Lord.
The woman that I desired to be was a woman of noble character. A woman who prays over the lives of others. A bold, strong and courageous woman. A woman who was filled with the Holy Spirit. A forgiving woman. A woman who was always healing. A woman who was always evolving. A woman who was always loving. A great wife. A great mother. A great daughter. A great grandmother. A great daughter in law. A great friend. A woman of God.
LESS to none of perfectionism, fear, hate, self sabotage, negativity, poor judgement, fleshly desires, beating myself up, running from myself, speaking death to myself and not believing that I can have an abundant life. Becoming the woman that I desire would be a test to my faith but would be such an honor to serve in my purpose to love others.
The woman that I desire to be, I am coming for her. She is an amazing person! Never give up on the woman you desire to be. Work towards her every day. Include some self care, some self-love and TLC to the mix and you will find her!
Ways to start becoming the woman that you desire to be:
#1- Examine who you want to be at the core.- When you wake up each day and lay down each day what is bugging you. Who do you long to be? What is your legacy? What do you love to do without getting paid a dime, Queen? Who are you if all of your titles are stripped from you? Are you light and love? Are you a sweetheart?
#2- Make a To-Be List- This may help as you write out who you want to be. You can put a little work towards her each and every day. Your future self will thank you!
#3- Start with putting small habits in place.- I wish I could tell you that it all happens over night and BOOM, we are all changed. Wouldn’t that be awesome? But, no back to reality love lol. The truth is we have the freedom to choose what we will do to change and what we believe in. So, you are given the opportunity to shift your life into something great. But overwhelming yourself will make you go back to square one. Put some little things in place to switch things up. Do not make it difficult to get to your goals. Make things manageable so that they easily become part of your routine of life.
#4- Give yourself grace.- Things happen and will keep happening. You have been given life another day Queen so continue to show up as the best you despite how things turn out. Beating yourself up will not get you anywhere but to endless dead zones. Our Lord and savior died on the cross for you and me so that we can live. That is the grace blessed to us by our Father. Let you getting back up and pleasing God be a gesture to show God that you have faith in His plan for your life. Never give up!
Cheers to the evolution into the women we are becoming!
Peace & Blessings
Toni
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